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Film is Dead: Wolverine: Origins

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      CommentAuthorYtoabn
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2009
     
    I'm sure there are a handful of Fancy Bastards out there that have seen this movie through perfectly legal methods. So let's talk about it, cause wow do I have a lot to say.


    Spoilers (highlight to read):

    Holy crap, this thing is so damn basic. At least the first X-Men movie had the usual basic message of accepting everybody and stuff like that. This, this is the most basic of action movies, frankly I'm surprised this doesn't star a bunch of wrestlers. I mean Jesus, every scene just seems to be rushing you to the next piece of action, with no regard for how predictable the plot is, how stupid it is, just... nothing. There was really no need to make this a Wolverine movie, or even a superhero movie in general. You could basically make this movie into a generic action flick easily. This movie is lower than X-men 3 in my opinion, because frankly all of the references, all of the action is so blatantly shoe horned in that there is no excuse with this movie. They never adequately explain any of the mutants powers, they never give any rhyme or reasons for different heroes showing up or leaving. And God Damn that plot. Let's try to establish a life time of pain through war in 3 minutes, rather than expanding on the past like they did with Dark Knight. Then let's set up a perfect life to take it away, then take it away again! Then let's have him pal around with a few random mutants with barely any explanation of who the hell they are and what their powers are. Then Wolverine's dramatic discovery that he's been played... for like the 5th time in this movie. Sabretooth tries to kill Wolverine's wife, and she can't convince him otherwise. Umm... why? Then of course he comes back for her, but doesn't kill his brother or even tie him up because it's an action flick, he's not allowed to be smart. Wolverine frees all the mutants, forgives his love for the whole fake my own death thing, and now we get their version of Deadpool, who's origin isn't even close to the comic one (so why use his name, just make up one, or just use Weapon XI). More dramatic fighting, more dramatic injuries. And all I can think is just END already.Oh boy, Sabretooth comes back just to make it that much more annoying. And not only can Deadpool teleport, he also has the LAZER EYE BEAMS. I know they explained that but God Damn it's so far off from the dead pool I know it ticks me off. Also, Deadpool's head keeps firing LAZER EYE BEAMZ even after it's cut off? Oh hey, let's forgive Victor despite killing all those guys in the war... and didn't he kill that teleporting guy? And random pole guy comes in to save Logans.... life? He's immortal, isn't he? Wifey dies, again. I think she's faking this time too. Also, great plan honcho, randomly fire adamantium bullets at Wolverine, and hope you hit a good spot. How exactly does erasing memory with adamantium bullets work anyway? The death of military guy, walking to death, is a nice bit of cruelty, maybe I just want to watch the characters of this movie suffer. And pole guy let's Wolverine go out on his own? Correct me if I'm wrong, but at that point Logan doesn't even know he has any powers. Wouldn't it be polite to... tell him about that?
    I know the executives said that there was 10 minutes missing so we shouldn't judge too early, but only if they removed about 90 minutes and replaced it with another 90 could I see this movie functioning. This leak is going to cost them if you ask me, because after seeing this thing no way will I go with friends to see it in the theaters, no way will I watch it on DVD, no way will I even watch it if it comes on TV for free. It's just a waste of time.

    Oh yeah, for those wondering about the lack of special effects, there is about 50-60% of them done. Almost anything involving wolverine's claws, sabretooth's nails, and their healing abilities is done. Mostly it's complicated shots where they have to create an entire plane, or city, or rag doll that are merely white polygons.
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      CommentAuthorJohn Darc
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2009
     
    *looks to the sky*

    EXCLAMATION!
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      CommentAuthorGallipoli
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2009
     
    Anyone surprised by any of the twists in this movie shouldn't be allowed to vote.
    • CommentAuthornicolene
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2009
     
    I feel like it was too much set up for X-Men: First Class.

    And a better title might be Wolverine: The Cliff Notes Edition.
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      CommentAuthorGallipoli
    • CommentTimeMay 2nd 2009
     
    When they rifftrax this, and that is inevitable, they will make ample use of the slide whistle.
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      CommentAuthorTindomiel
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2009 edited
     
    There's like absolutely no deeper character development over the course of this movie, which is laughable when you think about it too hard, but they were kind of trying to pack a lifetime of relentless pain and anguish into one movie when it could well have taken up three, otherwise. Personally I find it hard not to connect with a character who keeps losing everything, so I didn't experience the same degree of disconnect that Ytoabn may have.

    And prior knowledge of the basic X-men story is kind of a must, this is not a stand-alone movie by any means, even though that means you'll wince at some of the changes they made. If they wanted a disposable, one-off villain I think they could have done better to make one up for the movie rather than borrow names.

    However! I enjoyed it. I think the key is to go in with the mindset of watching the gist of Wolverine's past realized on the big screen, but not look for the next Dark Knight. YMMV(widely).
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      CommentAuthorRerun
    • CommentTimeMay 3rd 2009
     
    The best part was Pat Stewart.

    I can hear your thoughts?!
    And I can hear my paycheck hitting the desk, I mean, "yours"...

    Also, as I said in the chat today. Jubilee: Origins is where it's at for the next one...
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      CommentAuthorDram
    • CommentTimeMay 4th 2009
     
    Posted By: Rerun
    Also, as I said in the chat today. Jubilee: Origins is where it's at for the next one...

    HAHAHAHAHA oh, oh my, wow.
    Ironically, the popular 90s X-men children's book which I had (and recently read to a small child when visiting an elementary school, flashback much) was essentially Jubilee's origin story coupled with the death of morph as an unresolved cliffhanger. No sequel books to my knowledge, just supposed to be a terrible, terrible hook for little kids.
    • CommentAuthorKristi
    • CommentTimeMay 4th 2009
     
    I agree w/ Ytoabn in the details, but I went in with low expectations and (and feel free to shoot me now) I don't know much about X-men origin stories, which I think helped, actually. I was appalled by the bad SFX, particularly Wolverine's claws. There was also not nearly enough Ryan Reynolds in the movie for me. Maybe it would've worked better as 2 or 3 movies, but I'm pretty sure that would've been 2 or 3 suck-y movies. All in all, It was an ok action flick, but that's about it. I'd give it a C or C-.
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      CommentAuthorTindomiel
    • CommentTimeMay 4th 2009
     
    Oh yeah, and the amount of makeup on Patrick Stewart scared the fuck out of me. Gah! Pencilled eyebrows DO NOT WANT.
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      CommentAuthorDram
    • CommentTimeMay 5th 2009
     
    Posted By: TindomielOh yeah, and the amount of makeup on Patrick Stewart scared the fuck out of me. Gah! Pencilled eyebrows DO NOT WANT.Normally, this is that part where you'd say a prayer. For me, however, speaking those words has the unfortunate side effect of setting me on fire.

    Goddamnit, I didn't even know PS was IN this one. Now I have to watch it.
    • CommentAuthornicolene
    • CommentTimeMay 5th 2009
     
    @Tindomiel The way they tried to make him look young in this movie, makes me anxious about what they might do if and when they make X-Men: First Class. It would be the equivalent of the crappy claws in this one.

    @Dram Don't get too excited over Patrick Stewart, it's just a cameo really.
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      CommentAuthorHarlo
    • CommentTimeMay 5th 2009
     
    So so glad I went and saw this during the week instead of the weekend... well as glad as I can be that I saw this at all. AMC Theaters $5 weekdays is going to be the only thing that gets me through some of these summer movies.
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      CommentAuthorJohn Darc
    • CommentTimeMay 5th 2009
     
    Everyone who saw the workprint thought he looked fine as "Young Xavier", and it didn't even have any effects on his face in the workprint.

    The Magneto movie will make Ian Mckellan look like a clown for the whole movie if they don't recast, and just use this weird Botox CGI instead.
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      CommentAuthorTindomiel
    • CommentTimeMay 6th 2009
     
    One bright spot: Agent Zero is hawwwwt. Unf.
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      CommentAuthorYtoabn
    • CommentTimeMay 7th 2009
     
    Why did this movie have to have the massive leak, why not the Star Trek movie <_<
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      CommentAuthorJohn Darc
    • CommentTimeMay 7th 2009 edited
     
    I'd think that without special effects, the leaked workprint of ST would be mostly green screens.

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