The Fancy Bastard Forum

Actually the 17 to 19 gap is perfectly legal. Age of consent in Australia is 16. So hit on those 17 year olds, you can buy them alcohol, cigarettes and drive. You should be knee deep in high school pussy.

I have a feeling you havent gotten too many responses since we try to keep the subject matter pretty light on the board. I feel for you, and understanding perfectly what you are going through. I would suggest looking outside of school for companionship. If you are into RPG's maybe you can find a table top gaming group nearby. If you put yourself in a place where people are likely to already share the same interests, you've already narrowed the field of potential mates.

Dont anticipate rejection because you will project that onto others and they will be less likely to be interested.

Im assuming highschool is almost over for you (Even if its a year or two away). Highschool is a terrible representation of the real world. You will never again be in a situation that densely populated with people whose priorities are out of whack. Ive know some people that consider HS to be the best years of their lives. They are usually the most boring people you could (not) hope to meet.

Good luck.

Isolationism is a really difficult thing for everyone to overcome, especially when geeks such as us are already isolated with our own tastes. As Joel said, don't anticipate rejection; rather, keep your head held high and make sure at the end of the day you can say "I was the person I wanted to be today/Have I performed to the best of my abilities/etc. etc." I'd suggest trying to find the positives in difficulties or disasters (I'm a bleeding pessimist, and I still apply by this rule). For example: The fact that you haven't found a girl who loves you can also mean that you won't be married 10 years down the line without any sort of meaningful relationship and wondering what it's all for.

Also, trying to get any real conversations about art/media is hard as hell, which is why the internet is awesome! Seriously, there's a whole collection of geeks who hail under the title "Fancy Bastard", and you're *bound* to find people to connect with. Just keep a level head and make sure you think through your posts beforehand; I didn't when starting a discussion and it spiraled out of purer discussion due to my aggressive post, and I really regret doing so because it would be nigh impossible to reboot that argument with logic and reason.

In summary, this would be my advice to you:

1. As long as you're happy with the person you are and not breaking the law, you're doing it right
2. You can find some good in almost any situation
3. The internet is awesome, so long as you treat it with respect and use your head.

It really is intensely difficult to have a sustained conversation with someone about something you genuinely care about. Today in my last programming class of the semester I sat and had an hour long conversation with people I'd only known through grunts for the last five months about the merits of Intel vs. AMD, dremeling to fix Dells, solid state hard drives, random number tables, and hardware/software symbiotic limitations in commercial OS boot sequences. It was, obviously, an amazing experience, and I never saw it coming. I guess what I'm saying is that these moments are never planned, and you just have to get through life and let them happen.
If you're looking to spruce up your life, I actually wrote a draft for a guide for people doing such a thing at a time when I had recently succeeded in doing so. It was a stupid piece of congratulatory fiction, but there's one thing that rang true about it, and it's going to sound weird and stupid (at least it still does to me) but spruce up your appearance. It's not about covering up whatever nature in its finite wisdom did to your body, skin, etc. but rather about giving you more confidence. For a few hundred bucks you can expand your wardrobe and look ten times more like your ideal self than ever before, and it's a fantastic pick-me-up that you can ride for years. I'm not saying dress in a suit or wear some silk bullshit, just wear what YOU want to wear instead of what most dudes do (grunting at the nearest item in their size and heading for the exit).
I still can't get over how bullshittish that sounds, but I'm standing by it.

As far as relationships go, I may not be the best guide because I stopped dating a few years ago, but before I did I was getting plenty of 3:00 am confession emails, jokes that were not jokes, etc. When I shrugged my shoulders and quietly decided for no apparent reason that I was done with it for now, it was like a lightswitch had been hit, and that stuff stopped almost altogether. I have no reason to think it doesn't work both ways. Tell yourself that you want to date someone. Instead of sighing regretfully and wondering if there's no one out there, take a peek.

We've all heard something like that before, 'exude confidence' or other such hocum, and don't listen to that. It's not about confidence, people who have met me know I'm a fairly confident guy. It's not about 'big body language' (watch me play a Wii sometime...). It's about knowing what you want, instead of staring at a spinning globe.

Hope I helped and don't look like a jackass for not having the same problem at the moment,

-Dram

I'd just like to say that if you aren't ready for a relationship, don't be in one for the sake of being in one. Don't expect someone to come along and melt all your troubles away. You've got to be happy and content with yourself before you let anyone else into your life. Sounds cheesy, but it's true.

Posted By: DramIt really is intensely difficult to have a sustained conversation with someone about something you genuinely care about. Today in my last programming class of the semester I sat and had an hour long conversation with people I'd only known through grunts for the last five months about the merits of Intel vs. AMD, dremeling to fix Dells, solid state hard drives, random number tables, and hardware/software symbiotic limitations in commercial OS boot sequences. It was, obviously, an amazing experience, and I never saw it coming. I guess what I'm saying is that these moments are never planned, and you just have to get through life and let them happen.
If you're looking to spruce up your life, I actually wrote a draft for a guide for people doing such a thing at a time when I had recently succeeded in doing so. It was a stupid piece of congratulatory fiction, but there's one thing that rang true about it, and it's going to sound weird and stupid (at least it still does to me) but spruce up your appearance. It's not about covering up whatever nature in its finite wisdom did to your body, skin, etc. but rather about giving you more confidence. For a few hundred bucks you can expand your wardrobe and look ten times more like your ideal self than ever before, and it's a fantastic pick-me-up that you can ride for years. I'm not saying dress in a suit or wear some silk bullshit, just wear what YOU want to wear instead of what most dudes do (grunting at the nearest item in their size and heading for the exit).
I still can't get over how bullshittish that sounds, but I'm standing by it.

As far as relationships go, I may not be the best guide because I stopped dating a few years ago, but before I did I was getting plenty of 3:00 am confession emails, jokes that were not jokes, etc. When I shrugged my shoulders and quietly decided for no apparent reason that I was done with it for now, it was like a lightswitch had been hit, and that stuff stopped almost altogether. I have no reason to think it doesn't work both ways. Tell yourself that you want to date someone. Instead of sighing regretfully and wondering if there's no one out there, take a peek.

We've all heard something like that before, 'exude confidence' or other such hocum, and don't listen to that. It's not about confidence, people who have met me know I'm a fairly confident guy. It's not about 'big body language' (watch me play a Wii sometime...). It's about knowing what you want, instead of staring at a spinning globe.

Hope I helped and don't look like a jackass for not having the same problem at the moment,

-DramThis ship arranges its own eclipses.

Just say God did it at the end.

edit: It's vague enough to not necessarily be depressing.

Just because you write depressing stories doesn't necessarily mean that you *have* to be depressed. Look at Flannery O'Connor for example, an extremely sweet and devout Catholic who wrote very hyper violent and dark tales about humanity. It's the same as people who are pessimists, but are still extremely happy.

I want to throw in there don't date anyone because you're lonely. I did that not too long ago and wound up in a situation where I was much unhappier than I had ever been while I was single. If you find someone date them because you want to be with them and vice versa. Never date simply for companionship.

I didn't really date until I got to college. In fact, I had not the slightest inkling that anyone might possibly consider me attractive until about halfway through college. It's probably for the best, though: by then the last of the knuckle-draggers have been weeded out of the student body pool and it's easier to find people you can have intelligent conversation with. High school is nothing like real life: it's more like the prison system, complete with its own set of curious and disturbing customs. So really, don't sweat it. Focus less on how you think others see you and more on just letting yourself be.

Socially, the internet has long been my saving grace. I've met a lot of great people online through communities formed around specific interests (much like this one) and many online friends have turned into IRL friends. It's also been surprisingly good for my dating life (thanks, OKCupid!). Riffing off of what Joel said, if you're having trouble finding enclaves of geekness in your local area, seek them out online.

Oddly enough, I feel the internet has ruined my sense of what is proper in society.

Posted By: John DarcOddly enough, I feel the internet has ruined my sense of what is proper in society.Move over, bananas! I've got a new source of potassium!

You know that feeling you get sometimes, where you wish you didn't have to do all this work to meet potential mates, and could sort of just go out with someone you already knew and were cool with? That'd be good right about now, if I knew any women.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: My life is now the sausage party I always feared it would become.

Posted By: John DarcMy life is now the sausage party I always feared it would become.

Clearly we must switch orientations.

Or just trade lives. That's probably easier.

Now I'm hungry.

EEEP!! Now there's an ACTUAL GIRL who TALKS TO ME after class at lunchtime, she seems VERY interested in my writing and illustrating for some reason... could this be my first fangirl stalker, or could it develop into something more positive than that?

I also have become friends with the Irish kid in my class, I have suspected he has been an intelligent human being all along! What's happening to me? My life as a tortured solitary artist has become a LIE! My credibility as a snooty older student has been destroyed in one sentence from both the girl and the Irish kid: "Maybe we should exchange MSN addresses and hang out at lunch?".

It's like now the younger students actually value me for more than the unlikely possibility that I will "buy them beer" (In Australia the Drinking Age is 18, not 21, hence our youth regard us as "the lucky country"). What should I do? I'm being VALUED as a PERSON!

Posted By: NotoriousNGPEEEP!! Now there's an ACTUAL GIRL who TALKS TO ME after class at lunchtime, she seems VERY interested in my writing and illustrating for some reason... could this be my first fangirl stalker, or could it develop into something more positive than that?

I also have become friends with the Irish kid in my class, I have suspected he has been an intelligent human being all along! What's happening to me? My life as a tortured solitary artist has become a LIE! My credibility as a snooty older student has been destroyed in one sentence from both the girl and the Irish kid: "Maybe we should exchange MSN addresses and hang out at lunch?".

It's like now the younger students actually value me for more than the unlikely possibility that I will "buy them beer" (In Australia the Drinking Age is 18, not 21, hence our youth regard us as "the lucky country"). What should I do? I'm being VALUED as a PERSON!

Show her your penis.

edit: I just found out about this Meetup.com thing. It seems like it might be exactly what we need.

Posted By: John DarcShow her your penis.

edit: I just found out about this Meetup.com thing. It seems like it might be exactly what we need.Move over, bananas! I've got a new source of potassium!

NotoriousNGP I can honestly say your story is an old one, replayed many times through many lives, but don't fret for most the story has a happy ending. High School isn't for everyone, take me for example. I was a geek, strait up, hell I was on the chess team. I got bullied all the time which led to more fights than I can even remember and a few sweet scars (though one guy I fought may have lost the use of his right hand, oops). Then right before my Junior year my family moved halfway across the country and I never heard from my old friends again. For almost two years I was completely friendless, which I'm sure wasn't helped by the fact that I dropped out of school nineteen days into my first semester. But things got better, I enrolled in college and suddenly I was actually popular, people wanted to know me, be around me and even date me. I was twenty when I had my first kiss which later led to, well you can probably guess.

What I'm trying to say is just hang in there things will work themselves out sooner or later. And when you do see an opportunity to make friends, talk to a girl, or just do something stupid in the name of fun remember this. Don't doubt yourself, don't fear the unknown, don't hold back and DON'T PANIC. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath and jump in because the real world for all it's flaws is one hell of a ride. Anyone can succeed in life just be cool and go with the flow. Trust me someday you'll be thankful for all the shit you've been through, it makes you a more complete person and someday you may be able to help someone else who's going through the same thing. Life is what you make of it so why not make it awesome.

Man, I guess you're an aussie because you're doing HSC. Listen, I moved schools for the last two years of senior and hated it, I lost all my old friends due to moving to a different city (albeit one I'd already lived in for most of my life) and to the seemingly only school that I didn't already know people at. While I did make friends at my new school, they weren't the kind of people I'd go around with outside of school hours and while I had many friends at other school's due to living in Brisbane before I moved and came back I drew apart from them as well. Most of my best friends now are 3-5 years older than me and these are relationships I kindled through work and association with other people I'd met. I couldn't be happier. I feel like I've gained something more from having friends outside the small group of people I went through school with. Diversify, yo...

It does suck though, find some music man, something that you love that can just get you through the really bad days at school. When I'm pissed at the world I always have my music and groups like the FB's to bring me back. I guess as long as you have access to the net, we have your back. =)

With that in mind, once you get friends, get off the internet.

Posted By: John DarcWith that in mind, once you get friends, get off the internet.Move over, bananas! I've got a new source of potassium!

Posted By: Rerun

1. No no, introduce your friends to the internet via all the bad stuff...

I do the opposite. I will only friend you if we have met. Otherwise, we aren't "friends". I think it's just good to associate a face to a name (also it let me have a non-outwardly lecherous excuse to meet girls, so win-win).